All about Brass says Charlie...
By John Dickinson on 7th Dec 06
SO there I was last Sunday, hanging onto the Sandiford Montesa easy-up awning for dear life as a sudden rain-lashed, gale-force wind threatened to hoist said awning and all who hung onto her, into the nearby lake and thinking, What the hell am I doing!
The occasion was the official launch and public test day of the 2007 Montesa Cota 4RT, at Coniston Cold, west Yorks, and even given the awful weather was an absolute unqualified success. It was certainly not without its moments, not least first thing Sunday morning when Jake Miller arrived at the venue to find his brand new awning floating away having been flipped from its moorings by a falling tree branch and then whipped into the lake by the wind. Jake impressed himself (as no-one else was there to witness it) by wading out to rescue the wreckage! Harry Lampkin was particularly amused and was cursing for having missed the show.
We bring you full report and pics of the day elsewhere in the paper. Personally, I enjoyed the day immensely, finding an almost endless supply of (mainly) Yorkshire characters to listen to.
While eager lads paid their tenner for a thrash on a brand-new Montesa 4RT, Charlie Jagger, former top trials dealer, now a successful flogger of road bikes, regaled me with tales of the brilliant, much-missed 1980s TV series Brass, which apparently he has on DVD and, I'm only guessing here, watches on an endless loop! He can certainly quote many of tyrant northern mill-owner Bradley Hardacre's better speeches.
I haven't a clue as to how we got onto the subject of Brass but Mr Jagger certainly expanded my dusty memories. Charlie's favourite scene was when the village doctor informed Hardacre that workers were dying because of ingesting huge quantities of cotton waste that the air was thick with in't mill. "Tell me about it,” says Hardacre, "stealing by breathing is what I call it and I'm damned well going to do something about it!”
Jack Knoops (former director of Sportex motorcycle clothing was standing close by and was suddenly transfixed by Charlie's word-perfect rendition. Jack eventually drifted away eyes glazed, deep in thought. At least I think he was deep in thought – he may well have been totally mesmorised. I tell you, you don't get entertainment like that by sitting at home on a wet Sunday...
Concentrating hard now, I think we actually drifted onto Brass because we were discussing the well-known Yorkshire trait of, err, thriftyness (or plain tightness, if you come from Lancashire) and how hard it is for Yorkshire trials dealers to earn a penny from their customers. In order to earn a crust, your Tyke dealer needs to possess the ruthfulness of Hardacre – which of course, being trials enthusiasts first and foremost, they don't. Which is why Charlie took to concentrating on the road bike boys – they are apparently marginally easier to persuade to exchange their brass for bikes!
These test days are a cracking idea. Close on 100 20-minute test rides were processed by the hard-working Sandiford team which means that a fair bunch of lads have now got a fair idea of how the 2007 Mont's stack. OK, the weather was pretty nasty, but do you only ever ride your trials bike when the sun shines?
Everyone knows how easy it is to be impressed with ANY bike when you are riding on a rock hard surface with the sun on your back. Back-street testing we used to call it when I worked, in a past life, in a leading motorcycle dealer's!
Ah, the stunts that you can pull – mega wheelies, stoppies, full-lock turns, bounce yourself round in ever-decreasing circles. And you know what good all this does you when you get into a section? None at all is the correct answer!
Personally, I think it was pretty brave of the Sandiford crew to offer up their bikes for all and sundry to do their worst on in less than perfect conditions, and on ‘going' that was never going to flatter them. Northern riders love their rocks but are notoriously shy at riding on mud – and precious few master maintaining forward motion on the slippery stuff. John Lampkin has often admitted that – even when he was a National trial winner – he hadn't really got a clue what he was doing on pure mud sections until Steve Saunders took pity on him and gave him a few tips. And we all know how good a rider Johnboy was in the first place!
What chance for the rest of us...