Six of the best...
By TMX Archives on 16th Sep 04
...that's hours, not lashes! Team dbr enter the Fast Eddy war of attrition and live to tell the tale "I HATE you Lawless and now you're going to die!" I was kicking back and enjoying a week's hard-earned R n' R when Sutty's text flashed up on my moby. Okay, what it actually said was "I sorted a CR250 for Sunday. Game on!" but I still took it as a death threat... Agreeing to team up with Sutty for the Fast Eddy six-hour race was a stupid thing to do in the first place, doing it on a CR250 - very kindly loaned by those lovely people at ER Williams of Mold (Mold's premier off-road dealership!) - elevated stupidity to a higher level altogether. To race a Fast Eddy you need to be fit, to do it on a CR250 you need to be super-fit. Now it's no secret that my body's a temple - unfortunately we're talking the kind of temple you see poking out of the canopy of the Cambodian jungle. In a word...ruined! But the loss of face incurred by a last-minute withdrawal would have been too much to take so weighed down and spurred on by peer group pressure I was off to Ellesmere for a session of suffering... Preparation is key to an event like this so a nice big bowl of pasta for my din-dins the night before followed by more of the same for my race-day brekkie set me up nicely - when it came to carbs I was loaded! Ha, if only it was that simple. Still, I found the place in plenty of time to sign on and remembered to bring my boots, lid and the rest of my riding kit so I was off to a good start. While I lounged around yawning and smoking, Geoff Walker - at Ellesmere for the Gasser test the following day - turned the rear tyre and softened up the suspension. Wakker also acted as team cheerleader, water-carrier and official winegum provider. Thanks for that Big Fella - much appreciated. Anyway, back to business... After a quick game of paper, scissors, stone Sutty drew the short straw and had to start - not a bad thing as Eddy had stuffed us into the Pro class for a joke (at this point it's tempting to get revenge and tell the 'Eddy in the lease-a-lav' story - "last-minute nerves kid" - but I'm bigger than that). After the customary dead engine start, Sutty made it into the first corner in about third and as he disappeared off in a cloud of dust I settled in to a comfy chair and hoped for a first lap seizure (the bike, not the rider). Lady Luck wasn't shining on me and after about half-an-hour and a handful of laps Sutty was back and it was my turn. The early part of the lap was dry and fast - made for a CR250 if not for me - before plunging down into the trees for a big helping of roots, climbs and lots and lots of mud. The mud bits were especially tricky when tackled at speed - I discovered this very quickly - so I took the safe option and went through with my arse firmly planted on the seat and my legs waving. The big muddy climb out of the bottom section was particularly evil early on with bikes and riders scattered all over the place - I half expected to pass a machine gun nest at the top the first time I tackled it. But maybe Sutty was right with his choice of weapon because the two-smoker ate it for breakfast - even when I got baulked halfway up it was more than happy to just spin its way to the top in first. Good for me, bad for the clutch! Every few laps we swapped over so Sutty could try and make some places up and then I could loose them. Frustrating for him but, hey, life ain't fair! I also gained some useful bits of knowledge - and that, after all, is power! So, for the benefit of anyone who's managed to read this far, here are some little XC pearls of wisdom... 1) If someone passes you and they've got their name on their shirt then it's probably no disgrace. 2) If someone passes you and they've got their name on their shirt AND on their helmet then it's definitely no disgrace. 3) If someone passes you and they've got their name on their shirt AND on their helmet AND they've slashed the cuffs of their jersey then you should have pulled over earlier to let them pass (about the same time as they began shouting at you)! 4) Don't leave anti-freeze lying around the pits in a mineral water bottle. Okay, time to cut to the chase. After six hours in the saddle we finished seventh in the Pro class with a grand total of 36 laps (Sutty managing 21 to my feeble 15) and although there were a few aches and pains the following day I could still walk. In fact, my only real discomfort was in the ol' love chime department after team gopher Wingnut managed to overfill the tank during a fuel stop and marinate my hairy boys in unleaded! Sean Lawless