TMX SAYS: What's your scare tactic?
By TMX Archives on 20th Apr 16
If youve ever opened up your garage and found an empty space where your bike was once sitting then youll know that sickening feeling that instantly hits your stomach and then stays with you for a day or two or until your bike gets found in a bush which is what happened to me one time. Unfortunately, the second time the thieves struck I wasnt so lucky and I never saw my bike again. Sniff.
And that's the way it goes for most people – bike gets lifted, Police show disinterest, bike never gets seen again, victim is thousands of pounds out of pocket.
Possibly worse than not seeing your bike again would be having it pop up in one of those street gang wheelie videos that seem to be gaining popularity on YouTube. That happened to an acquaintance of mine quite recently and even though it was easily recognisable to anyone who knew him or the bike there was nowt that could be done to actually find or retrieve it – short of scouring the streets and then getting all ‘street justice' on the new ‘owner' of course.
I guess the key to avoiding a situation like that would be to not let your bike escape your possession in the first place. Unfortunately, I know firsthand that's not always possible because if they really want it then it seems that they'll go to any lengths to get their mitts on it which is quite scary really.
There are a plethora of security products that if used properly can stop thieves though and with the right alarm, locks and ground anchors it's possible to slow them long enough for you to arrive on the scene and scare them off.
With that in mind I've been working on a technique to scare unwanted visitors from my property for almost a decade now and because I'm nice – and not at all because I'm struggling to think of a more suitable topic to share with you all this week – I'm going to give you the lowdown.
The first time I used this approach to crime fighting was at the 2007 MXoN at Budds Creek when I was staying in MX Heaven's race truck in the pits. At some point during Saturday night I was woken by some whispering in the awning and jumped out of bed, flung open the door and jumped straight into the scene of the still happening camp chair robbery.
Redneck #1 legged it empty handed but his buddy was mesmerised by the awesomeness that stood before him and was only capable of nervously stuttering ‘p-p-p-p-please m-m-m-may I g-g-go n-now, sir?' while trying to hand me a still-folded folding chair. Realising I was pretty much naked (it was a really warm night, okay?) I gave him a hard Paddington Bear stare and let him go unharmed although his eyes were probably damaged irreparably and as a result didn't enjoy Sunday's on-track action. Pow, take that!
I've since found that a similar technique works on all unwanted callers to the Sutton house – window salesmen, the Avon lady, religious nuts and even my wife's family and friends (although bizarrely that one really friendly guy seems to pop round slightly more often than he did before which is weird) all seem to find an excuse to leave when I make an appearance in my tighty whities. I'm yet to roll it out onto TWOCers but I reckon it'd have the same effect.
See you all at Canada Heights on Sunday where you'll be no doubt pleased to read I plan to be fully clothed...
