Diggin' the groove!
By TMX Archives on 12th Oct 04
He may cheat at golf and his shoulder's still less than 100 per cent but Jeffro reckons TC deserves a place on the British MXdN team - for disco dancin'! I FOUND out some harsh realities about someone at the Irish GP. Tom Church is a conniving, deceptive excuse for a human being. I don't care if that's libelous or if I'm going to get into trouble over it - it's the truth! Why do I feel this way about the weasel? Am I upset that he beat me at golf? No! That's because he didn't. He cheated but more importantly - as I learned back at infant school - he only cheated himself. A top so-called sportsman should know the true meaning of the word sportsmanship and learn to accept defeat once in a while. I've learned to live with the sour taste so much I've stopped taking sugar in my coffee. Not only did he lie about his score, he then gloated for the next 24 hours about how he romped to victory even with his shoulder only 50 per cent fit. What ***t! There's nothing wrong with his shoulder, he's just using that as an excuse not to race because he knows I'd take him on the dbr KXF. His equally ungentlemanly partner Mr Dinham - and when I say partner, you know I think they just might be - wasn't any better. From a British enduro champion I'd expect better. "Winning just comes easily - it's all about pacing yourself," he says. No it's all about being three shots down after six holes, then driving forward 100 yards in your buggy and dropping another ball out of your trouser pocket. You don't stand a chance against that kind of matchplay, especially when you're teamed up with a first timer. Even more so when that player is Goldwing. Oh he's a player all right - just not at golf. Revs and Fordy were equally disgusted by the audacity of those two claiming they'd won fairly. If I were them I'd terminate TC's sponsorship. So the game was declared void and a rematch is on the cards - and those boys are going to get a thrashing. We managed to squeeze a round in on Thursday before Ballykelly and the weather was perfect but it didn't last. Both days of the Irish GP had their shine taken off by sporadic downpours and although it didn't effect the track too much it did dampen the crowd and their spirit a little. Totally against my principles, I had to stand next to TC as he was the only one with an umbrella - but we didn't talk. Weather aside it was good to be there for another piece of MX history. Everts eight - Townley one. Both were my choices for champion so I'm pleased - it looks like I know what I'm talking about. To be fair though they are thoroughbreds and not lame donkeys at 500-1 so it's no surprise. Everts was class. He crossed the line in the first race and although he'd just wrapped up the championship he swung his arm in disgust that he'd lost the race to Pichon. In true champion fashion he went out and creamed Pichon in the second moto. Billy Mack was my rider of the day though, he's now gluten free and motoring on. I've said eating fry-ups and burgers were good for you all along and now Billy's proving the point. He totally deserves his place on the Nations squad, he's the quickest open class rider we have at the minute and he's good in the sand. Team selection always sparks reaction and everyone's opinion is different about who should be on the team. For example my choice for the England starting 11 is different to Sven's. I'd have Matt Le Tis and Gazza in, even George Best - and he's not even English! But I'm not the man in charge. Thing is you'll never please everyone so Robbie's gone with who he thinks is best and I think they'll do a good job. I was discussing the team selection recently and the conversation developed into who'd we have If the des Nations was a dancing comp, like it always does! Well, Mack would definitely be in again, he goes Coyote Wild on bars and everything. Backing him up in the open class would be Mark 'Brains' Jones - so called because he moves like a Thunderbird puppet on the disco dance floor. Jonesy I salute you. My third and final choice and real ace up my sleeve would've been Jonathan 'Paxo' Pitman. No-one - and I mean no-one - in the MX world can clear a dance floor like Pax. An epileptic orangutan would make less of an impression I swear. Unfortunately, Pax doesn't race anymore due to a broken back which incidentally doesn't restrict his dancing moves but it does make him ineligible for the squad leaving a tough choice for the final slot. Either seasoned veteran Jason 'Stoop' Lewis or after - and this is painful to admit - Churchy's outlandish performance in Ireland, TC. Stoop is a solid consistent performer (the James Noble of UK MX dancing) and you know he'll do the job for you. However, if we needed that little bit of flair or something special in the MX 2 category it would have to be little TC. So hypocrisy and politics aside that's who I'd plump for and would maybe even turn a blind eye to Tom's ability to cheat his way to victory even if it was for queen and country. He'd be on his own if he didn't win though - no doubt he'd pull out the old collarbone excuse yet again. Words by Jeff Perrett