The Wight Stuff!
By TMX Archives on 6th Jun 03
ya crappy soaps such as Eastbenders and the likes, I'm now into proper educational TV. Bob the Builder, that's where it's at. NEVER MIND ya crappy soaps such as Eastbenders and the likes, I'm now into proper educational TV. Bob the Builder, that's where it's at. I tell ya, he's the man - handy with his tools and what women could resist that? Of course, I wouldn't normally sit down in the afternoon with a brew and watch children's television. Oh no, I'd record it and watch it later!But now it just so happens I have an interest in the construction world. This past month Johnny Douglas-Hamilton and myself have been given the privilege of building the track for the next Maxxis British Championship round on the Isle of Wight.We've taken the responsibility real seriously - although we drew the line at going for the full-on Village People YMCA look. I can't think of a more off-putting image than Johnny with a hard helmet and tape measure. Having said that, I think Rosco would be all for it as he whipped his shirt off as much as possible in the few days he joined us. By the end of the week gossip had swept the whole island that Ricky Martin was doing an open air gig after a few schoolgirls spotted him in a field.But even Rosco's sex appeal couldn't steal the limelight away from the Tina Turner look-alike who was the star entertainment in town one evening. 'Tina Turner, more like Tina ******g Turnoff!' was Rosco's opinion and no wonder, she was a brighter orange than Dale Winton and I've seen better legs on an oil rig. But oh how she fitted the bill of 'tonight's entertainment'. Believe it or not, that was our only night on the tiles - we actually put in 12 hour days and I haven't done that since my after school detentions.But those 12 hours seemed to breeze past as things inevitably do when you're having fun. Johnny was like the Terminator. He was unstoppable, happy as a pig in ***t. We all were - and it's no wonder. The Vectis club had given us this beautiful rolling valley and all the earth-moving machinery you'd ever need to build a track, then allowed us total licence to do with it what we wanted.That kind of opportunity doesn't happen very often - if at all - but it should. Johnny and I would like to thank the Vectis club, especially Rob and Julie, for having the conviction to break the ACU mould. And on top of that, they even fed us and washed our pants - now that's commitment to the cause.All the hard work has paid off as the likes of Coppins and Atsuta say it's good enough for a GP - now wouldn't that be something! I have to say, I had a vision in my head of the finished product but it's better than I imagined. Johnny has a special talent and if he was as good in the sack as he is in a bulldozer half of the women in Edinburgh would be etched onto his Lordship's bedpost. Perhaps they are as the man himself says 'making a MX track is very much like making love to a beautiful women'.He wasn't the only one to have a Tonka toy to play with. I was given a dumper truck to cause mayhem in and at times I felt like I was in a Mad Max movie because I spent most of the time tearing around with my Fox rain cape flapping in the wind. Talk about kids in a sweetshop - we even had our own digger driver who would dig holes wherever we asked him to. Bimbo was his name and holes are his game, the man never stopped smiling and he got right into it - especially when the bikes came out for a blast.He was so enthusiastic the whole time, top man! I just hope everyone else involved in the sport will be as upbeat as Bimbo about this race, maybe then the riders will get more say with the tracks. After all, we're the ones risking broken bones every time we race them. Talking of which, I'm lucky not to have snapped any limbs this month...but that's about the best luck I've had.Hawkstone was a bitter pill to swallow. In timed qualification I had reminded myself of what it was like to be quite good and posted sixth place. By less than two laps of the opening race I had also been reminded of what it's like to be hit in mid-flight by a runaway motorcycle and the experience doesn't get better with age. One moment I was running in the top five, 20 minutes later I was just about walking.Culham wasn't much better but at least I got one moto in as I crossed the line in 12th, although it could have been better. Moto two was going well - I made the joint holeshot with Swordy (but I'm giving it to him because he needs the publicity), then when in a solid fifth and feeling fine my trusty steed quit on me. It happens to the best, unfortunately this time it happened to me - but I'm still smiling and so will you lot when you see the track that's coming next. Get there - you have been warned...Jeffro